


Black Feathers

by ReverberatingEchoes



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance, fallen angel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 05:13:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12226476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReverberatingEchoes/pseuds/ReverberatingEchoes
Summary: In which Sleepy Ash is a Fallen Angel who's lived in the human realm for centuries already as a punishment, and Mahiru Shirota is the peculiar human that befriends him.Sleepy Ash's heart hasn't been this peaceful in a very long time.Or,A Fallen Angel! AU feat. KuroMahi.





	Black Feathers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [orangescribbles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangescribbles/gifts).



\--

 

 

_Brother, no! You mustn't do this!_

 

 

_Sleepy Ash, please, you must reconsider!_

 

 

I’ll do it. I’ve made up my mind already.

 

 

(Understand that that person cannot be left alive. It’s too dangerous!)

 

 

_What you did was unforgivable! How could you! Wasn’t he important to you too, Sleepy Ash?!_

 

 

It was necessary. It was necessary. It was necessary!

 

 

(Please, please understand that it was necessary-)

 

 

_What the Council has decided is final. This is the price of your sin, Sleepy Ash. We have no choice-_

 

 

It was for the best.

 

 

(It was for the best. It was for the best!)

 

 

**Was it really for the best? Are you still telling yourself that, Sleepy Ash?**

 

 

**Don’t you remember how much he cared about you and your siblings? Don’t you remember, Sleepy Ash?**

 

 

He’s not the same person, not anymore.

 

 

(I-)

 

 

(I wasn’t wrong! I-)

 

 

(Someone please, please, tell me I wasn’t wrong-)

 

 

\--

 

 

The Kingdom of Heaven is cruel with punishments, Sleepy Ash learns.

 

 

Sleepy Ash is taken from his home and dragged off, visible to all of the other Angels. He hears the whispers of the Seraphims as he passes by.  

 

 

_A purge_ , someone whispers,  _how shameful_.

 

 

_That’s Sleepy Ash, is it not? He killed-_

 

 

_How vile! Criminal. He deserves to be punished!_

 

 

Sleepy Ash is blindfolded, hands tied behind his back as he is led to his punishment site.

 

 

All the while, he thinks of his siblings at home and wishes that he could apologize. He thinks of their Senior Angel and how kind he was when Sleepy Ash and his siblings were mere fledglings.

 

 

He thinks of the troublesome, but happy times he and his siblings had with their Senior Angel.

 

 

He thinks of their Senior Angel’s slow descent to madness, of his ambitions to create his own kingdom, not unlike Lucifer’s own.

 

 

(Sleepy Ash thinks of this, and he thinks of the blood on his hands and the numbness of his heart.)   

 

 

\--

 

 

_Please, someone tell me what I did wasn’t wrong,_  Sleepy Ash thinks during his punishment, in the midst of the excruciating pain that came with his wings changing color.

 

 

(Like being burned alive. Like being stabbed a thousand times. Like being ripped apart.)

 

 

Brought to his knees, Sleepy Ash’s screams fall on deaf ears and he wants to die die  _die_ -

 

 

(Pain. Pain pain pain _Stop STOP STOP IT HURTS STOP STOP STOP SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE STOP_ -)

 

 

The members of the Council, the Archangels, had only watched him dispassionately as the last of his feathers were kissed with darkness and Sleepy Ash had fallen unconscious.

 

 

\--

 

 

Sleepy Ash dreams of a past long lost and abandoned.

 

 

_A kind smile._

 

 

_“Sleepy Ash, was it? I’ll teach you everything you have to know about being a Pro Angel like me!”_

 

 

_Sleepy Ash, but here he is much younger, much more innocent. “That sounds troublesome...I don’t want to,” Sleepy Ash responds._

 

 

_The Senior Angel pouts at him and flails his arms. Sleepy Ash immediately decides he’s too energetic for his liking._

 

 

_“Where’s your motivation as a newly hatched angel? You need to set an example for your other siblings!’’_

 

 

_Loud. He’s too loud. Sleepy Ash shrugs and prepares to glide over his home. “I’ll be retiring now. Good bye.” He positions himself and breezes pass the older angel who is stumped by how fast he flies away._

 

 

_(He’s too earnest, Sleepy Ash thinks, but he’s not a bad person.)_

 

 

_“Wait, come back! I’m assigned to you and your siblings, Sleepy Ash don’t ignore meee!”_

 

 

_._

 

 

_A strained smile._

 

 

_“Have you ever thought about it, Sleepy Ash, why we Angels blindly follow the Will of our Creator?”_

 

 

_Lawless is napping on their Senior’s lap, nestled and relaxed as Sleepy Ash considers his strange question. All of Love on the other hand sleeps peacefully beside Sleepy Ash, snoring lightly._

 

 

_“We are his creations,” Sleepy Ash murmurs dutifully, carefully adjusting All of Love’s position on his shoulder, “His Will is our Will.”_

 

 

_The Senior Angel runs delicate fingers over Lawless’ hair. “I think that it’s unfair,” He confesses, “Why is our freedom restricted like this? Why can’t we choose for ourselves, when the humans that He_ _created are free to act however they wish?”_

 

 

_For this, Sleepy Ash has no response. They are Angels and they are His Creations and to speak like this would be considered a crime._

 

 

_But the Senior Angel says nothing more and only quietly stares at the distance._

 

 

_._

 

 

_A manic smile._

 

 

_“I’ll stage a rebellion, Sleepy Ash, and when that time comes, I will liberate all of you from His rule…”_

 

 

_Sleepy Ash stares up at him in horror, noting with a sickening realization that their Senior Angel is wingless._

 

 

_(He had exchanged his wings for the power of Lucifer.)_

 

 

_“I’ll free you all from this life, I will destroy our Creator with my own hands, and build my own empire. Sounds nice, don’t you think?”_

 

 

_“Don’t do this,” Sleepy Ash begs quietly, summoning his weapon into his hands, “Don’t do this, please.”_

 

 

_All Sleepy Ash gets in response is mad, mad laughter._

 

 

_._

 

 

_A bloodied smile._

 

 

_“Sleepy Ash...why do you look like you’re about to cry?’’_

 

 

_Sleepy Ash shakes and shakes. His hands are drenched in blood and so are his robes and everything is red red red -_

 

 

_His opponent hacks and coughs. Glassy eyes stare up at him._

 

 

_“I’m sorry...Sleepy Ash...I couldn’t free you guys after all… I wasn’t strong enough...”_

 

 

_And when the Senior Angel closes his eyes forever, all that Sleepy Ash can hear are his own screams._

 

 

(Sleepy Ash dreams and dreams and he almost wishes that everything that happened had only been a very bad nightmare.)

 

 

\--

 

 

When Sleepy Ash regains consciousness, he is alone.

 

 

His wings are curled behind him and he struggles to sit up, only to find himself dizzy and weak. His back is painful and his wings feel like they’re on fire.

 

 

_Where am I?_

 

 

The ground is cold and wet and Sleepy Ash shakes his head, trying to focus.

 

 

_This isn’t the Garden of Eden._ Certainly, the Garden of Eden has never looked like a decrepit forest, and never has Sleepy Ash seen the Sky so far from him.

 

 

(Far and out of reach. Never meant for the likes of him.)

 

 

He coughs and coughs as he tries to unfurl his wings. The moment his eyes catch sight of the black feathers,

 

 

( _Fallen_.)

 

 

Everything comes rushing back to him.

 

 

Cast out of the Garden of Eden with the scent of blood on his hands and the weight of his shame blatant and mocking, Sleepy Ash screams and screams and screams until his throat is raw and he can no longer make a sound.

 

 

( _Fallen. He is a Fallen Angel.)_

 

 

(Dimly, he wonders if he can hear the phantom chuckle of the Senior Angel he had killed.)

 

 

\--

 

 

Exiled from the Kingdom of Heaven, far too tainted to remain an Angel, yet lacking the impurity to enter the Realm of Hell, Sleepy Ash finds himself wandering through Earth, haunted by the past and unable to step towards a probable future.

 

 

It’s been several centuries since then. Perhaps even millenniums, but Sleepy Ash has long since lost count.

 

 

_A sentence worse than death_.

 

 

For it is but fools who yearn to live in the world forever.

 

 

\--

 

 

The first few centuries in the human realm leave much to be desired for Sleepy Ash.

 

 

Humans know a Fallen Angel when they see one, and do not hesitate in reminding him of that fact.

 

 

_Stay back, monster!_  
  


 

_How vile! How dare you bring such sin here…!_

 

 

_Murderer! Murderer!_  
  


 

 

_Such a disgusting creature._

 

 

And so to avoid troublesome situations, Sleepy Ash has decided to live in seclusion.

 

 

It’s infinitely easier that way, to avoid humans and to repent for his mistakes of the past.

 

 

(He lives in solitude and Sleepy Ash thinks that it’s only a little bit lonely.)

 

 

\--

 

 

Sleepy Ash doesn’t know how it happens, but it happens.

 

 

It happens when he’s taking an afternoon nap under the shade of one of the largest trees in the heart of the forest, somewhere far away from human settlements when-

 

 

“An angel?”

 

 

Sleepy Ash jolts awake and finds a rather young human staring at him with his lips slightly parted.

 

 

Sleepy Ash knows there’s no more point in trying to hide his wings and resigns himself to the inevitable. With the weight of his shame, the accursed black wings furled behind him, Sleepy Ash turns his face to the side, avoiding the eyes of the person in front of him.

 

 

He sits quietly, anxiously waiting for the harsh comment that he was sure would follow after seeing the color of his wings.

 

 

Filthy.

 

 

Graceless.

 

 

Unworthy.

 

 

_Fallen._

 

 

He’d heard it so often in the first few centuries that he’s lived in the realm of the humans.

 

 

(Heard it enough times to make Sleepy Ash thinks that that’s all he ever was, a Fallen Angel, neither fitting here nor there.)

 

 

But it never comes.

 

 

Instead, what he hears stuns him because not once has anyone ever called them-

 

  
“ _Beautiful_ ,” the younger boy breathes out in awe. His eyes are large and round and carry the most beautiful shade of brown that he’s ever seen.  

 

  
Beautiful, the human boy says. He had called Sleepy Ash’s sin  _beautiful_.

 

 

The Fallen Angel stares at him, unable to say anything. The younger boy grins at him with such an open expression and a hand extended in a greeting.

 

 

(And in that moment, Sleepy Ash thinks that the ice in his heart has begun to thaw.)

 

 

\--

 

 

“Kuro, I’m here today, too!”

 

 

For the first time in a very long while, Sleepy Ash, now Kuro courtesy of Mahiru, looks forward to spending time with someone other than the silence of the forest.

 

\--

 

 

_“My name is Mahiru Shirota!” The brown-eyed boy introduces himself cheerfully._

 

 

_Sleepy Ash, still in a state of shock, only gazes at the boy in silence. A lot of questions are running in his mind, none of which he can sort out as of the moment._

 

 

_The boy in front of him doesn’t lose his smile, as he continues to ask,_

 

 

_“What’s your name?”_

 

 

_Sleepy Ash doesn’t know how to answer and a part of him feels like he_ has  _forgotten how to answer, how to speak in basic conversations after his seclusion._

 

 

_(Answer him. Answer him.)_

 

 

_“Ah, well, if you don’t wanna tell me, would it bother you if I call you Kuro?”_

 

 

_Kuro. The name rolls easily off of the boy’s tongue and it echoes pleasantly in his ears. Sleepy Ash’s eyes grow soft and his heart grows lighter._

 

 

_He nods._

 

 

(Sleepy Ash likes the name very much, and every time Mahiru refers to him by that name, it feels as though Sleepy Ash has been given a second life, a second chance).

 

 

_\--_

 

 

Mahiru is perhaps the oddest human Kuro has met.

 

 

(And Kuro has met a lot of humans in his first few centuries in the human realm, none of which he can remember fondly.)

 

 

Mahiru is perhaps the oddest human Kuro has ever met because Mahiru never mentions anything about his wings. He is content spending time with Kuro and brings him home-cooked meals every time he comes over.

 

 

(Kuro doesn’t tell him that his kind has no need to eat the same way humans do, but he accepts the food Mahiru makes because Mahiru always looks happy when Kuro eats the meals he makes and wishes not for the first time that he could taste the flavors mixed into the hearty meal.

 

 

But Kuro tastes the warmth and the effort Mahiru has put into it, and for him, that is enough.)

 

 

Kuro doesn’t know if the reason for the lack of attention towards his wings is because Mahiru isn’t aware of the stigma of the color, or if he chooses to ignore it, or -

 

 

_Why aren’t you turning me away like the rest?_

 

 

_-_ and he tells Mahiru as much.

 

 

Mahiru looks at him thoughtfully and lets the information sink in. Kuro absentmindedly ruffles his feathers, trying to keep his anxiety hidden.

 

 

_Why have you stayed, when the rest have all decided to leave?_

 

 

_Is it because you can’t see the monster I am?_

 

 

One of Kuro’s feathers fall off and Mahiru follows it with his eyes. Smiling, he goes over and picks it up.

 

 

“You’re beautiful and wonderful, and you can never make me think otherwise,” Mahiru declares, tenderly pressing his lips against the black feather.

 

 

It’s a very intimate gesture and Kuro feels himself flush in spite of himself.

 

 

“Kuro, you’re beautiful,” Mahiru repeats, as easily as he showers Kuro with kindness and selfless affection.

 

 

And Kuro-

 

 

Kuro furls his right wing over his cheek, if only to hide the blush on his face from Mahiru.

 

 

\--

 

 

_“Doesn’t it ever get lonely?”_

 

 

_His thoughts swirl with memories of solitude in the heart of the forest, where the most company he can keep are the wild animals and the sound of rain from time to time._

 

 

_It gets lonely, sometimes._

 

 

_It isn’t until Kuro sees Mahiru gazing at him with an almost crestfallen expression that he realizes that he answered out loud._

 

 

_(It isn’t until Kuro sees Mahiru gazing at him with an almost crestfallen expression that he realizes that he answered honestly.)_

 

 

_Mahiru stands up, then, startling Kuro slightly._

 

 

_He gazes at Kuro with determination in his eyes. “You won’t be lonely anymore!” Mahiru declares, “I won’t let you be!”_

 

 

_And spoken with such conviction, it makes Kuro want to believe his words._

 

 

_\--_

 

 

While Mahiru never remarks about his wings ( _black, fallen, monster_ ), Kuro finds him staring at it with open curiosity more often than not.

 

 

(It’s understandable, Kuro thinks, that Mahiru is curious about his origins. Angels are peculiar beings, and well,  _Fallen_ Angels are even more so.)

 

 

“If you ask me about them,” Kuro says one cloudy day, watching Mahiru roll out a soft blanket for them to sit on, “I would tell you.”

 

 

Mahiru pauses from his actions, eyebrows raised. “About what?” He asks. Kuro unfurls his wings and motions over to them.

 

 

“About these.”

 

 

(If Mahiru asked him about his wings, Kuro resolved that he would tell him. Kuro would never deny Mahiru anything.)

 

 

To Kuro’s surprise, Mahiru shakes his head.

 

 

“I won’t ask, Kuro,” Mahiru tells him with a serene smile, “I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me yourself.”

 

 

Kuro opens his mouth to say something but Mahiru walks over to him and pats his head, gentle as his fingers tangle in his hair.

 

 

“Only then, Kuro.”

 

 

\--

 

 

Mahiru’s fingers are soft when they touch his wings.

 

 

(Gentle, always gentle. Kuro doesn’t think he’s ever known true gentleness until he met Mahiru.)

 

 

_Touch them_ , Kuro had offered and Mahiru had only acquiesced because Kuro took his hand and brushed them over his wings.

 

 

“Soft,” Mahiru whispers, “Like doves’ wings.”

 

 

There’s something almost reverent in the way Mahiru traces his fingers over his wings and Kuro sits motionless as he allows Mahiru to satiate his curiosity in the only way Mahiru will accept.  

 

 

_I won’t ask, Kuro._

 

 

_I’ll wait until you’re ready to tell me yourself._

 

 

_And Kuro is so tired, so tired of keeping it to himself._

 

 

“It was a punishment,” Kuro begins and he feels Mahiru still for a moment. Kuro sucks in a breath and continues.

 

 

“For ending the existence of someone dear to us.”

 

 

Mahiru doesn’t say anything and Kuro thinks that he’s disappointed Mahiru, maybe disgusted him even, but Mahiru resumes moving his fingers with tenderness.

 

 

The words spill out from Kuro’s lips as he recounts everything that’s happened to Mahiru, who only continues to brush his wings as Kuro speaks.

 

 

(Millennium's worth of memories and regrets are released and Mahiru-)

 

 

(Mahiru hasn’t said a word and when Kuro finishes, he finds himself gazing up at Mahiru.)

 

 

Mahiru, with the light of the setting sun behind him, Mahiru, who has tears running freely down his cheeks, who buries his head in Kuro’s shoulder as he embraces him tightly, who feels so incredibly warm and real as Kuro embraces him back.

 

 

\--

 

 

Ever since then, Mahiru’s taken to running his fingers over Kuro’s wings, always delicate and reverent with the action.

 

 

Ever since then, to return the favor, Kuro’s taken to kissing Mahiru’s open palms each time he arrives and before he leaves to return to his home.

 

  

(And while neither of them openly say it out loud, their actions have always spoken so much louder than their words.)

 

 

“Take care in going back,” Kuro will say, when the sun is close to setting.

 

 

“See you again tomorrow, Kuro!” Mahiru will respond, and Kuro will kiss his open palms before he leaves to make his way back to his house.

 

 

(They repeat this cycle, and with every passing day, Kuro finds it harder and harder to part with Mahiru, and Mahiru finds it harder and harder to leave Kuro.)

 

 

(One day, Mahiru asks Kuro to live with him. Kuro doesn’t give a verbal response, but he buries his face on Mahiru’s shoulder as Mahiru chuckles fondly. He understands what Kuro wants to say.)  

 

 

\--

 

 

On a particularly cold night, both of them are on the veranda, with Mahiru sitting in between Kuro’s knees, his back leaning onto Kuro’s chest.

 

 

Kuro breathes out, arms wrapped loosely around Mahiru’s waist. Both of them sit together in relative silence until Kuro breaks it with a soft, “I never understood it, back when I first met you.”

 

 

When Mahiru makes a questioning hum, Kuro takes it as a sign to continue, “You called me beautiful then, when you first saw me, even with my black wings.”

 

 

_You call me beautiful even now, I don’t understand it sometimes_ , is what Kuro doesn’t say. Mahiru hears what he doesn’t voice out anyway.

 

 

“You’re beautiful, Kuro, back then and even now,” Mahiru murmurs, enveloped in Kuro’s arms, “You can never make me think otherwise.”

 

 

(And oh, how easy it is for Mahiru to say such kind words, how easy it is for Mahiru to calm Kuro’s heart, then and even now.)

 

 

“It’s you that’s beautiful, Mahiru,” Kuro intones, letting the wind carry his voice, “Dazzlingly beautiful, sometimes I’m not sure you’re real.”

 

 

Mahiru slowly untangles himself from his embrace and gazes at Kuro with kind eyes, pressing his forehead against his. He leads Kuro’s palm to his cheek and chuckles, fond. The warmth Mahiru radiates is undeniable and Kuro revels in it.

 

 

He feels so strongly for this young man, so strongly and it’s been centuries since his fall, but it is only with Mahiru that the demons in his heart quiet themselves until they recede into the periphery of his consciousness. It is only with Mahiru that the demons in his heart quiet themselves, enough for Kuro to think that perhaps someday, he will be able to forgive himself for what he has done and that the demons will forever stay quiet as well.  

 

“I’m real, Kuro,” Mahiru says, soft and sweet, “And I’m right here with you.”

 

Kuro’s tears fall before he can stop them, and he presses a delicate kiss onto Mahiru’s awaiting lips.

 

 

\--

 

 

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: 
> 
> 1\. This is an AU. I took way too many liberties with the ideas of Angels and Fallen Angels. Some parts I left vague so everyone can interpret it however they would like. I just really wanted Kuro with black wings and Mahiru who loves him a lot and Kuro who loves Mahiru a lot too. 
> 
>  
> 
> 2\. I love KuroMahi.
> 
>  
> 
> 3\. I hope you enjoyed, OrangeScribbles, you wonderful person you. :3


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